


bitin the bullet

by manicpixie



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Breakups, Jealousy, M/M, dave realizes karkats a bit off, karkat realizes john doesnt suck as much as he thinks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-06 06:46:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4212015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manicpixie/pseuds/manicpixie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If jealousy's a disease, Karkat should already be involved with the goddamn Make A Wish Foundation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. saltkat singletas

     If jealousy's a disease, Karkat should already be involved with the goddamn Make A Wish Foundation.  
     He knew that Dave wasn't his, persay, that was plain obvious to anyone with a brain. But he did like to think he had a certain way with the blondie. Not in the way that a psychic has a way with making people cry or an orphan has with rich old guys, but in the way that a zookeeper interacts with a stray bird. That bird shouldn't be in that zoo, dammit. But the zookeeper still tries to tame it's feathery ass with bread crumbs and pathetically mimicked chirp noises.  
     If Karkat Vantas was a zookeeper, he'd be fired in a week, for neglecting the animals of the zoo in favor of the bird.  
     If Dave Strider was a bird, he'd be much easier to attract. Birds like shiny objects and being annoying, not John Egbert and being annoying. Everyone hates John Egbert. Birds included.  
     Dave Strider wasn't a bird, and he didn't hate John Egbert. In fact, he loved John, or something like that.  
    It was revolting. He'd rather chug his own dick then watch them gaze into eachothers eyes.  
    Karkat slouched on Dave's couch, distractedly watching some show about bigfoot while Dave and John gazed into eachothers eyes. The show wasn't even good. It was maybe a bit funny, but it wasn't on purpose. It was almost as horrible as the gap between John's teeth. Dave could stick his tongue in it with wiggle room leftover.  
     He guessed that was his goal, that, or to inhale John's upper lip, because they were going to goddamn town on eachother.  
     "If you two are just going to spit in eachothers mouths, I'll let myself out."  
     He saw - and heard, eugh - the two disconnect.  
     "Don't be like that, man!" John frowned. He looked disgusted by the statement, as if it wasn't a poorly constructed joke or something. Odd. John should've known _all_ about those.  
     "We can spit in your mouth, too," Dave yawned absently.   
      It was late, but Karkat could still walk home. He lived on the opposite side of the block. Not close enough to tell if it was Dave or his "Bro" through the windows, but enough to      see if Dave and his maybe-actual-brother-maybe-dad (??????) were waving around their toy swords on the roof, or just glaring at eachother.  
     Karkat was gone and out the door in under a minute. They likely heard his stomps from Mars. Maybe the martians could come and laser-blast him out of his misery, if he was lucky.


	2. offscreen jackoffs and overdramatic claims galore

     Karkat was what he was - and what he was was a natural disaster. Made by the earth, and, hopefully, ended by man. The man he wanted to be ended by, however, was Dave Strider. Not in a metaphorical way, he really wanted to die. Dying seemed like a peachy keen idea. No more heartbreak, no more boredom, no more jacking off at three in the morning after a shitfit at Dave's house. He felt pathetic knowing that John wouldn't have to jack off that night - he was given a goddamn easypass to boner highway.  
     He clenched his eyes shut as his phone flickered, next to his cheek. A barely-concerned text from Dave, and a few texts from Egbert to subtlety rub things in some more. He knew the jist by now, this mess had been going on for what - two months? Thinking about Dave with someone else didn't make Karkat wretch like it used to. It just gave him an upset stomach and a migraine nowadays. Nothing too serious; nothing serious enough for Dave to give an actual shit.  
     With a limp dick and a heavy heart, Karkat thought to himself, "They're probably fucking."  
     Were they fucking? No. But he didn't know that. He didn't know how their relationship was practically disintegrating and crumbling like a piece of dehydrated toast. All he knew was that he was lonely and tired.  
     Karkat had vivid dreams about beating the shit-eating ratlike grin right off of John that summer night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter because im at a loss of how to write this shitfest

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic !! yikes


End file.
